Field Guide To Hospital Grunts: Patient Edition
ID: Reproductus cornicopious, the common multip (i.e. multiparous woman, who has delivered a few babies already)
HABITAT: Maternity Ward
ACTION REQUIRED: RUN AND DON GLOVES. She is about to pop.
BACKGROUND: There is a saying on the maternity ward: “Never turn your back on a multip.” It is a known medical phenomenon these women, who have already had a few babies, have shorter and shorter labour for subsequent pregnancies, to the point where you better not ever be too far away or you’ll be picking baby up off the floor.
I have actually been trained that these multips often make a loud, primal, guttural grown the moment before the serious pushing begins. If you’re not in the room, and you hear this, hustle.